Take care of family

The people closest to you are the people who need the most from you.

²³ When the soldiers had crucified Jesus, they took his garments and divided them into four parts, one part for each soldier; also his tunic. But the tunic was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom, ²⁴ so they said to one another, "Let us not tear it, but cast lots for it to see whose it shall be." This was to fulfill the Scripture which says, "They divided my garments among them, and for my clothing they cast lots."

So the soldiers did these things, ²⁵ but standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. ²⁶ When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Woman, behold, your son!" ²⁷ Then he said to the disciple, "Behold, your mother!" And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home. John 19:23-27 (ESV)

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. Exodus 20:12 (NIV)

"Anyone who attacks his father or his mother must be put to death. Exodus 21:15 (NIV)

In the very next chapter, God said “'Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death” (Exo 21:17)

Take care of them

¹ Then some Pharisees and teachers of the law came to Jesus from Jerusalem and asked, ² "Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? They don't wash their hands before they eat!"

³ Jesus replied, "And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? ⁴ For God said, 'Honor your father and mother' and 'Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.' ⁵ But you say that if a man says to his father or mother, 'Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is a gift devoted to God,' ⁶ he is not to 'honor his father' with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. Matthew 15:1-6 (NIV)

(see Mark 7:1-13 for longer version with Jewish washing explained)

Clearly, honoring your parents includes taking care of them, even taking care of their needs with your own money.

Who is my family?

⁴⁶ While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. ⁴⁷ Someone told him, "Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you." ⁴⁸ He replied to him, "Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?" ⁴⁹ Pointing to his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. ⁵⁰ For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." Matthew 12:46-50 (NIV)

Strange for Jesus to do this. He had four brothers!

⁵³ When Jesus had finished these parables, he moved on from there. ⁵⁴ Coming to his hometown, he began teaching the people in their synagogue, and they were amazed. "Where did this man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers?" they asked. ⁵⁵ "Isn't this the carpenter's son? Isn't his mother's name Mary, and aren't his brothers James, Joseph, Simon and Judas? ⁵⁶ Aren't all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all these things?" ⁵⁷ And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor." Matthew 13:53-57 (NIV)

Maybe he did this because his brothers were not interested in him.

¹ After this, Jesus went around in Galilee, purposely staying away from Judea because the Jews there were waiting to take his life. ² But when the Jewish Feast of Tabernacles was near, ³ Jesus' brothers said to him, "You ought to leave here and go to Judea, so that your disciples may see the miracles you do. ⁴ No one who wants to become a public figure acts in secret. Since you are doing these things, show yourself to the world." ⁵ For even his own brothers did not believe in him.

⁶ Therefore Jesus told them, "The right time for me has not yet come; for you any time is right. ⁷ The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify that what it does is evil. ⁸ You go to the Feast. I am not yet going up to this Feast, because for me the right time has not yet come." ⁹ Having said this, he stayed in Galilee.

¹⁰ However, after his brothers had left for the Feast, he went also, not publicly, but in secret. John 7:1-10 (NIV)

Jesus’ job, as oldest son, was to take care of his parents.

A lot is said of the inheritance the oldest son received from his parents. But with that inheritance came the responsibility to take care of his parents in their old age. You could say the inheritance was a trust fund, the parent’s retirement account. It didn’t belong to the son until the parents died.

Maybe because his brothers had their own houses. (But John took her into his own home. Any son could do that.) Maybe John was more of a son to her than Jesus’ brothers.

Maybe to free James up to believe in him!

Respect them

"'Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD. Leviticus 19:32 (NIV)

¹ Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, ² older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. 1 Timothy 5:1-2 (NIV)

Obey them

¹ Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ² "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- ³ "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

⁴ Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:1-4 (NIV)

⁸ Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. ⁹ They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck. Proverbs 1:8-9 (NIV)

Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Proverbs 23:22 (NIV)

²² Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. ²³ Buy the truth and do not sell it; get wisdom, discipline and understanding. ²⁴ The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him. ²⁵ May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice! Proverbs 23:22-25 (NIV)