Sermon Cloud

HOUSE of JAX "RIVER"

EPC - Kevin Hale - February 22, 2009

"RECONCILE"

Good morning EAST POINTE!

James 3:18 NKJV

¹⁸Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

TMSG

¹⁸You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.

NLT

18 And those who are peacemakers will plants seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.

Our river (St, John's) is a very unusual river.  It is big one of the only river that flows north.  So much pollution is being put in and water being taken out that we are in a situation that the river cannot cleanse itself or let stuff go.  Conservation efforts are on the rise to insure the river is a resource for future generations.  The river keeper project and other efforts are in need of our attention.  We want to preserve a clean river for those who come after us.  Leave it better than we found it right?

In that sense we are trying to reconcile with the river.  It means to "make peace" so that both the river and people enjoy the benefits of each other.

There is conflict everywhere you look in the papers and on the news, wars, political fights and gangs etc.  Out of 3500 years of recorded history there has been only 286 years of peace between nations.  We must learn how to make peace or reconciliation.

The Bible is very clear that no one is perfect and that all have sinned.  Romans all have sinned and come short...there is none that does good...the heart is wicked who can know it...if we say we have  no sin then we lie and the truth is not in us...

What is the cause and cure of conflict?  All conflict is caused by selfishness and sinfulness.  Prov. Only by pride comes contention.

James 4:1,2 NKJV

¹Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? ²You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain (the gratification you seek). You fight and war. ^£Yet you do not have because you do not ask.

Amplified: there is a war in you before there is a war in the world. 

Many times conflict arises in your life because you expect someone else to meet a need in your life that only God can meet.

When (husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend etc.) you do expect them to fill a need and they do not then you become disappointed and bitter etc. 

You might think to yourself,  If I could just meet the one that could meet all of my needs then... 2 imperfect people do not equal one perfect person.

Anger is a warning signal that someone has not met a need in your life.  God says, you have not because you ask not, so look to Him to meet that need.

The sinful nature has never been right with God and it never will be.  The wars in the world start on the inside of men and women.

The cause of conflict is selfishness and sinfulness.

The cure of conflict is reconciliation.  It means to "make peace".

It is never easy to do this so why don't we just move on and why do we mess with it?  Why reconcile with mom or dad or brother/sister or friend

 "It is always more rewarding to restore a relationship than resent it the rest of your life."  R. Warren

Now to reconcile that does not mean (necessarily) you get back together that you become best friends again. 

How do we actual reconcile?  These steps are not easy steps.

You must learn these skills.  It does remove the pain that hits you when you think of them.  Let it go.  STEP ONE

• Reconcile with God first.

That war ends by surrendering to Him.  You will never win this war so let it go.  Until you accept the fact that God is
God you will be at war.

You were made to live life with God and no one will ever make it without God.

End that war today and begin life.  But so many, especially men, do not want to surrender to anyone.  And somebody they cannot see is easy to pass up. 

ILL. Atheists.   I do not have enough faith to be an atheist.

 People do not want anyone over them.  Col. 1:21,22 ²¹And you, who once were alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now He has reconciled ²²in the body of His flesh through death, to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight.

Justified.  He sees me just as if I had never sinned. A person is justified by FAITH only, not my goodness.  Not by the ten commandment because you probably could not tell me what they are right now.

All sin was punished on the cross.  We are forgiven but our sins are punished at the cross.  The sins of the world not just believers.

          Isa. 53 ⁵    But He was wounded for our transgressions,

          He was bruised for our iniquities;

          The chastisement for our peace (reconciling) was upon Him,

           And by His stripes we are healed.

Romans 5:11  ¹¹And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.

We are made a friend of God by faith alone.  Jesus is enough.

Now this is the most important step.  Without it the other steps are not possible.

HAVE JOEY THOMAS SPEAK FOR 10 MINUTES.

Here are the steps to heal broken relationships.

• 1. Make peace with God.
• 2. Ask God to help you.

Talk to God first.  Do not talk to your friends first about that person.  That is what most of us do, right.  That is gossip and God tells us to talk to Him first.

Many times when Connie and I have issues I find that if I will simply speak to God about it and settle my own heart that the issue will resolve itself.  Connie is right and I am wrong and that makes life easier at the Hale house.

Rick Warren: Feb, 2008

There are two kinds of people in the world skunks and turtles.  The skunks when they are upset they spew all over the place and stink it up.  Turtles simply clam up and hide and hold it in.

Skunks always marry turtles is the problem.  So right now if you are a skunk raise your hand, NO, No just kidding.

Seriously, whether you clam up or blow up they both violate the principles for relationships.

James 1:5 ⁵If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it.

Ask yourself first how much of this is my fault and take ownership of your part?  Then ask what do you want me to do about it?

• 3. Schedule a meeting. Conflicts do not fix themselves. Might be one exception but not natural. Time does not heal stuff. Time makes it worse and God says to go quickly. If that were true then cancer/diabetes/bitterness patients would just wait and get better.

Proverbs tells that true intimacy is honest and open rebuke is better than hidden love.  Fear kills relationships.  Controlling people are people in fear and insecure.  I am afraid many say.  That is why reconciliation is hard and not easy to restore relationships.  God will give you the courage by faith to go forward.

2 Tim. 1:7 ⁷For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

The more we are filled with love from God the less you are afraid.  Perfect love casts out fear.  That is why a person will run into a fire and save a child.  The love for the child casts out fear.

You go first.  It is always my move.  The convicted one.  Matt. 5

 ²³Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, ²⁴leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 

He is saying that reconciliation comes before worship.  Leave the gift.

Many have had fights on the way to church in the parking lot or between services.  Devil loves to destroy your worship.

You begin to make this conference happen.

• Choose the right time for this. When you both are at your best/rested and all. Not in bed before you go to sleep. Honey, we need to talk will kill a man ladies.
• Choose the right place. Quiet
• Have a positive attitude ready to fix it. You either fix the problem or fix the blame. You cannot do both. You are not enemies just fix the problem.

1 Peter 3:7 ⁷Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

Men you will tend to try and be successful at work without getting it right with her or others in the church.  God is saying don't ask me for nothing until you get this right.

BOW HEAD RIGHT NOW and ask God to give you the courage to go to that one today if at all possible.  If God can reconcile with us then we can reconcile with each other.

• 4. Confess your part first. That is humility and it comes before God will honor you. I was wrong.

Matt. 7, remove the beam out of your own eye before you try and remove the speck out of their eye.

• 5. Listen to their HURT not the surface issues. Hurt people hurt people. Healthy happy people do not hurt people.

When people feel they are not respected or devalued they will pass it on.  Treat people with dignity and you do that by listening to them.

James 1:19^19£So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;

Saint Francis, "Seek to understand before you seek to be understood."

Intentionally look for their perspective before yours.  Put them first and you will find the way to be gracious.

Memorize this verse this week.  You will need this verse this week several times right?

• 6. Be willing to absorb the pain.

Maturity is necessary for this to happen.  Revenge is not to be on your mind at this point.  Retaliation leads to escalation and nothing will ever be experienced.  I have done this many times.  Absorb the pain do not get even.  End it.

Jesus Christ absorbed the pain on the cross and he took the initiative the first move toward us took the pain.  We were reconciled to Him through the death of His Son.  God let it go.  You must give mercy to get mercy.

James 2;13 ¹³For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.  NKJV

NLT ¹³There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you.

• 7. Emphasis reconciliation not resolution.

Reconciliation focuses on the relationship being restored.  Resolution deals with agreeing on everything and resolving the all issues.  You can walk hand in hand without seeing - eye to eye.

I am asking for us to join in with many believers around our country who are committing to become peace makers.  People who put relationships together and not tear them apart or leave then torn apart.

I want our community to know us as a church that makes peace.

God has given to us the spirit of reconciliation.  We should not be at war with God and with each other.

Let's end the wars in our lives and be at peace. Makers of peace will be called the children of God.  Blessed are the peacemakers.

Some of you are not letting go of the stuff that is polluting the river of your life.  It will affect the lives of those around you as well.

Ill. The first time Connie and I crossed our river on the ferry we felt a peace that came over us.  It was peaceful. If we will keep the river of our life clean we will experience a peace that passes all understanding.

Introduce the response time and make sure you invite for salvation then membership and then prayer for any need.

• a. Make peace with God.
• b. Reconcile with anyone God is speaking to you about right now.

Some of you are about to quit on a relationship today.  Stop and trust God and be a peace maker.