Sermon Cloud

When Will I Be Happy with Others?

When Others Care About My Problems

Philippians 2:19-30 

INTRODUCTION

This series in Philippians has been all about how to be happy with others.   

We need this because for so many of us, we’ve given up on happiness as a possibility.  We think that happiness—real, lasting happiness isn’t part of real life because there are too many problems, too much suffering.  We get to the point where we hear people talk about happiness and outside we smile, but inside we’re sad, because we know our past, and happiness just isn’t going to happen for us. 

Sometimes we get a glimmer of hope when we feel like someone cares about us and our problems.  We feel a connection and a sense of happiness, but for it to last, the person has to keep caring about our problems, and that’s something that can lead to disappointment.    

In this passage today, we’re seeing that Paul is showing us a different path. The opposite path.  Paul and Timothy and Epaphroditus are highlighted here in ways that show us that the key to being happy in relationships is serving.  It’s caring about the problems of others, rather than having others care about yours that leads to lasting happiness.  We’re going to see this in 3 points today: 

I.A Definition of Happiness vs. Joy

II.Timothy—Served Like No Other

III.Epaphroditus—Served to the Point of Death 

1. A Definition of Happiness vs. Joy

We’ve been talking about happiness in this series.  I’ve mentioned joy a few times, but haven’t really talked about how happiness and joy are related.   

I’ve said that the The goal of this series is that you all would be consistently, powerfully, unshakeably happy.

But in this passage, verses 27-28, we find some strong emotions that don’t seem to fit with our understanding of happiness.

V27—Paul would have experienced real sorrow if Epaphroditus died.

V27—Paul had sorrow in his own circumstances—in prison, unable to preach, people attacking him, couldn’t be with the Philippians. 

V28—Paul experienced anxiety because the Phil’s were concerned for the health of Epaphroditus.  Paul was worried about how they would respond to news of E’s sickness. 

First, isn’t this reassuring?  Isn’t it good to see that this is part of who Paul is?  It’s great to see Paul’s happiness spill out of this letter, but when we’re not there with Paul, sometimes it’s hard to connect with him.  It feels like the gap between where he is and where we are is too big for us to jump across.  Then we see verses like this and we realize—hey, he’s much closer to us, and this makes him more accessible in terms of his happiness.  So first, just seeing this honesty is real and reassuring.  

Second—How do we reconcile these?  If Paul was happy, how could he be experiencing anxiety and sorrow?  Aren’t those mutually exclusive?  

APPARENT DISCREPANCY:  There are some who ask, “Paul, why sorrow for E’s sicknesss?  Why not rejoice he’d gone to be with the Lord?  Anxiety?  Why aren’t you trusting in the God?  Don’t you think God will take care of them?  Some Christians talk like this.  Do you have a hard time understanding how to reconcile these things?   

A MISINFORMED SOLUTION:  In response to this, many people—especially in the church—have sought to deal with this by making a distinction between joy and happiness.  One author, Calvin Miller, in his book Joy, p10-11 says this“Many Xns confuse happiness with joy, as did I.  Happiness is about a buoyant emotion that results from the momentary plateaus of well-being that characterize our lives.  Joy is bedrock stuff, on the other hand.  Joy is a confidence that operates irrespective of our moods.  Joy is the certainty that all is well, however we feel.” 

Many have taken this route—saying happiness is outward and fleeting, but joy is inward and abiding.  What is good about this is that it allows you experience the joy in the midst of suffering and difficulty.   

The problem with this is that it’s not what joy means.  What does it mean?  We need a definition.  If you look the word up in any Greek dictionary—you find that the Greek word for joy means HAPPINESS.  It means to be glad, to be well, to be in a state of happiness and well-being.  Joy is the good feeling that you get when something good happens to something (one) you care about. 

DESCRIPTION:  Jesus told the story of a man in a field who found a treasure.  He said, “In his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.” Matthew 13:44  The joy we desire is full of life and vitality, it is a bounce in our step and a smile. It’s singing in prison and the thrill of forgiveness and salvation.  

Joy is that good feeling that you get when something good  happens to something you care about. 

Further proof:  in the Bible, joy is a NEUTRAL EMOTION:  it can be good or evil.  There are many verses, I’ll just give you one sample:  Mk 14:11—joy in betrayal of Jesus.  The religious leaders were happy, they were filled with joy when Judas agreed to betray Jesus.

So here’s the POINT:  Paul wants you to experience happiness in your life.  In this letter, Paul is happy—it’s real happiness, it comes up to the surface, and you can see it.   

One author said, “Joy experienced by Christians was something to be seen by the world and drew people to Christ.” 

RETURN TO THE DISCREPANCY W/A BETTER SOLUTION.  So how can we be happy in the midst of awful circumstances, suffering, chronic problems that won’t go away? 

How can we always be happy?  Does it mean we have to look like Mary Poppins?  What we’re seeing in this letter is that Paul experienced both positive and negative emotions at the same time—and they were his honest responses to the good and bad circumstances in his life.  This means that if you’re experiencing a mix of good and bad circumstances, then you should be feeling a mix of good and bad emotions. 

Emotion gets a really bad rap in the church.  There’s a book by Matthew Elliott called Faithful Feelings in which he lays out the best explanations of positive and negative emotions I’ve ever read.  He says, “54—Emotions are not primitive impulses to be controlled or ignored, but cognitive judgments or construals that tell us about ourselves and our world…  Destructive emotions can be changed, beneficial emotions can be cultuivated.  Emotions are a crucial part of morality.  Emotions also help us to work efficiently, assist our learning, correct faulty logic and help us build relationships with others.” 

So here’s how it works:  the good and bad facts of your circumstances will generate good and bad feelings and emotions.  The reason why we can experience happiness at all times irrespective of our circumstances is precisely because a good measure of our happiness is based on unchangeable facts.  As we grow to understand the worldview of the gospel we will increase our happiness.  The reason that Christian happiness is above circumstance is not because it is present ‘however we feel’ but because it is based on unchangeable facts.  The death and resurrection of Jesus has already happened.  

Everyone actually has two levels of facts about their circumstances.  There are the daily/weekly facts—these go up constantly based on whether we’ve had a good day or a bad day, based on how people treat us, based on things primarily out of our control.  This is the top level of facts from our circumstances. 

Then we all have a deeper level of facts about our lives.  These are the more constant things in our lives—things that are predictable.  For most of us these are our relationships—people whose love is constant and abiding.  Or hobbies/activities that we always enjoy.  These deeper level facts and realities in our lives produce feelings of happiness and joy in our lives, even when the upper level facts are in the tubes.  These things are harder to shake, and they keep us going in life. 

The reason Christian happiness is so powerful, the reason so many people are move to distinguish it as joy is because the good news of Jesus produces this third, even deeper level of facts in our lives.  These deeper facts involve the reality of Jesus’ coming, his perfect life, his death, and his resurrection.  And he came for you.   

This is a set of facts that aren’t based on the future, but have already happened in the past.  These facts aren’t based on how well you do this week, or this year—they already happened 2000 years ago.   

And these facts are so much more than facts…  they speak of a relationship.  He did this for you, so that he might know you.  So you might know him.   

When you tap into these truths—when you believe in Jesus, this deeper level of facts becomes an underground pool that you can draw from.  It is an ever ready source of encouragement, of happiness, that is more powerful than any other facts in your daily or your yearly levels.  When sorrow floods in—you experience that sorrow, but the facts of Jesus—we call this the good news of the gospel—they tower like mountains and they continue to rise up higher than any flood level life can throw at you.  

You need to figure out how do you best tap into this well.  It can be as simple as reading the word of God.  Reading the bible can be like dipping your bucket into the well.  For others of you, it’s music—singing—that causes you to experience the well of Christ’s love and grace.  For others, it’s actually serving other people—in the act of serving that you are reminded of the set of facts from this deeper level.  For others, it may be studying theology or reading biographies of people who have experienced Christ.  Prayer is the connecting point for many, and for even others it’s being out in God’s creation.  Each of these are legitimate ways to help you connect with Jesus and his work for you.  You need to figure out which of these works for you… and drink deeply. 

So this is how Paul and the early church dealt with the mixture of their circumstances.  There were facts in their life that were awful.  But there were other facts too which were more powerful and longer lasting and more significant that triumphed over the negative circumstances. 

My favorite is in the book of Acts: 

Acts 5:40-42   ⁴⁰ The religious leaders called in the apostles, they beat them and charged them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go.  ⁴¹ Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name.   

The apostles let the facts of Jesus’ victory conquer the facts of their suffering, and they actually saw how their suffering connected to their love for Jesus, so their suffering itself became a chance to experience happiness.   

The key to bringing it to the surface of your life is shown in the two people Paul mentions in this passage—Timothy and Epaphroditus.  Let’s look at them next. 

2. Timothy—served like no other

To Paul, Timothy was alike a son.  Father and Son (v22)—chip off the old block, he looks like me 

This speaks of the process of discipleship—it’s encouraging, helping, supporting, sharing, and teaching.  Paul poured his life into Timothy the way a father would teach his son to take over the family business.  To the point that they were “like-minded”(v20).  You’re experience of Jesus makes you want to share it with others, and we call that discipleship.   

Discipleship—what are you known for? What would you like other people to understand about Jesus?   Know?  Be?  Do?  How are you helping others?  Whose life are you pouring yourself into?  Who are you trying to build up?  It’s all about relationships.   

Timothy could convey Paul’s own heart to the Philippians.  No one else could do this for Paul.  Have you ever thought of sending someone to deliver  message?  What if it was vital?  Business?  Who would you send to act in your place? 

Hallmark Card ads used to say, “When you care enough to send the very best.”  Paul loved them so much that only Timothy would do. 

When Paul describes his ministry, he says Timothy served.  Concern for you—owning your situation, your problems.   

NT Wright, p109—“Paul’s definition of a pastor—not Timothy the great teacher, not even Timothy the devout and holy man, but Timothy will genuinely care about you…Being a pastor has more to do with sheer unselfish love than anything to do with the person themselves.

Timothy got Paul’s heart, and in serving, he knew real happiness.  

3. Epaphroditus—served to the point of death

E was the Philippians’ representative to Paul.  He was the Philippians’ ambassador to Paul. 

Came to meet Paul’s need from the Phil’s.  He brought the gift from the church.  800 miles.  That’s us walking from here to El Paso, TX.  But on the way, he got sick.  Sick near to death. Epaphrodituswas driven by his love for Paul and the Philippians—he wanted to deliver the gift and be with Paul.  800 miles, through sickness, his love for Paul kept him going.   

But when he got there, he gave the gift.  When found out that they were concerned for him, he returned immediately.  Amazing sacrifice!  Didn’t stay with Paul.  He gave up his time with Paul to assure the Philippians.  800 miles.  No planes, trains, or automobiles.   

No sacrifice was too large.  The beat of E’s heart was how can I serve?  Not my problems, not my sickness, not my suffering, but what can I do for Paul?  What can I do for the church?  *How about you? 

Sometimes when we see this, we think, well how much do I have to give?  But when we remember Jesus, in 2:3-11, we see that it’s not about rules, but it’s about Jesus.  Jesus who left heaven, came as a servant, came to die… that’s what droveEpaphroditusto go 1600 miles.  It’s what will drive you to serve.   

All Jesus does for us shows what he wants to do through us.  Jesus loves you, then he makes you an ambassador. Epaphrodituswas an ambassador to Paul for the Philippians.  Timothy was an ambassador to the Philippians from Paul. 

God is calling all of you right now this moment to be his ambassadors to people in the church and in the world.  He wants you to be his representatives, his heart, his arms, his words to others in your life.  There are people that God wants to reach through you.  2 Corinthians 5:20 ²⁰ Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 

GOSPEL CONCLUSION

But you can’t do this if you have needs that aren’t being met.  But you can’t focus on getting those needs met either—that’s not the answer.  The only solution is to come to Jesus.  He has to meet your deepest needs.   

Epaphroditus shows us a picture of Jesus. Epaphrodituscame near to death for Paul and the church, but Jesus was plunged into death.  There was no mercy for Jesus, and he did this for you.  Your deepest needs are met by the deepest love of Jesus. 

These 3 got it—Paul, Timothy, and E.  That’s the well they drew from.  Jesus’ work for them and in them made them wnt to be concerned for the needs of others.  They got it.  It moved them.   

He wants to say of you—I have no one like _____ who is like-souled with me, who can represent me to them.  It’s your calling.  If you feel empty, re-experience the love of Jesus for you, draw from the well.  That is what you share with others.  That is what God wants others to see. 

Let’s pray.