Sermon Cloud

7 Qualities of An Excellent Wife

Proverbs 31:10-31

Intro: Hard to get gifts for moms.  Heard of a guy who found a bird that had a vocabulary of 4000 words, could speak in numerous languages and sing 3 operatic arias. He immediately bought the bird for $50,000 and had it delivered to his mother. The next day he phoned to see if she had received the bird. 'What did you think of the bird?" he asked. She replied, 'It was delicious."

Proposition: My gift to mothers today is to tell them how God says they can be an excellent wife and mother.  But listen up husbands and kids – there will be lessons in here for you too.

1. She honors her husband. (11-12, 23)

An excellent wife wants her husbands trust, she wants him to gain in life, and she wants him honored by others – and so an excellent wife “does him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

Do you want to honor your husband?  Do you want him to be respected?  “Of course I do.”

We live in a culture of tearing down the husband.

Ex. Last two huge sit-coms (Home Imp. And Raymond) featured idiot husbands.  Longest running TV show features Homer Simpson.  Any commercial featuring a couple uses this concept of an idiot husband.

What do you say about your husband to your girlfriends?

Ex. Amy and Cru friends.

Ladies – you have a power over your husband you probably don’t understand.  His massive ego can be destroyed by your words and even the looks you give him.

The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1

Some of you are very sensitive about what you say to your mother or to your girlfriends.  Are you more or less with your husbands?  You should be more.  He is your best friend and with you for life.

In Proverbs it says it would be better for a husband to live on the corner of a hot roof or in the middle of the dessert than with a contentious wife.  Some of you might want your husbands thereJ  But seriously – honor him – and he will honor you.

2. She is a go-getter. (13-19,24,27)

An excellent wife and mother is a go-getter.  Or maybe I should say a getter doner.  She does more in a day than most men can fathom.  She wears 47 different hats.  And many of you do it with kids hanging all over you.

Kids can be a heavy load.  Ex. Newborns Sean William Maynard (10 pounds, 14 ounces) and Abigail Rose Maynard (12 lbs, 3 oz.) of Winston-Salem, N.C., may not break the record, but don't tell their mother that. Born June 20, 2008 to Joey and Erin Maynard, the twins tipped the scales at a combined 23 pounds and 1 ounce—4 pounds, 11 ounces shy of the record-setting hefty twins born in Arkansas in 1927.

Some of you got heavy kids.  Not weight – but the weight of their activities or the weight of their problems.  But the vast majority of you women get it done.  You’re go getters.  You’re one part MacGyver, one part statesman, one part Rachel Rea, one part Martha Stewart, one part counselor, one part referee, and all together awesome.

3. She is tender hearted. (20)

An excellent wife has a tender heart and is a person of grace and mercy.  Most women are naturally tender and giving.  Most give and give and give.

Ex. The Christmas Story.  Mother hadn’t had a hot meal for herself in 15 years.

Some of you have been hurt so much you built up a shell around your heart.  A mom does need to be thick skinned – but never lose that tender heart.  Bitterness is a poison that can harden the softest heart.  So the key to tenderness is to never hold on to bitterness.

Remember – to forgive is to set a prisoner free and to realize the prisoner was you. 

Ex. A rattlesnake when cornered will sometimes get so angry it bites itself.  That is what we do when we hold on to bitterness.

31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:31

4. She is protective of her family. (21-22)

An excellent wife makes sure her family is protected – not just with clothing, but protected from anything that will harm the family.  The husband bears the bulk of this responsibility but the wife must work hard to put a protective covering over her children.

Ex. Robin’s nest – both working together.

1 These are the commands, decrees and laws the Lord your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. Deuteronomy 6:1-2

Your job is to provide boundaries for your family.  Boundaries provide freedom.  Know what your kids listen to, watch, text each other, and so on.  And be alert to other women coming over into your husband’s territory.  That’s your family.  You might get snapped at, but it’s worth it.

Ex. Janine and the dog collars.  Setting up boundaries will hurt at times.

5. She has strong faith. (25)

An excellent wife is a woman who does not fear.  She does not let doubt or anxiety overwhelm.  She trusts fully in God that He will work all things out.  She smiles at the future not because she knows she will take care of everything – but because she knows God will take care of everything.

Too many women put too much pressure on themselves.  An excellent wife knows it is God who will make everything better.

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Php. 4:4-7

Your choice to be a thermostat and not a thermometer.

6. She is careful with her words. (26)

Momma needs to understand maybe more than anyone that her words are seeds.  What she plants will grow up and produce fruit.

Commercials with secondhand smoke and kids.  Words are more dangerous than smoke!

Kids listen to everything you say.

Ex. One day a mother hosted a dinner for her husband Bill’s boss.  Asked son to pray.  “I don’t know what to pray.”  “Just say what I say.”  “Dear God, I wish Bill’s lousy boss wasn’t coming over here tonight.”

Determine to only speak what you want for your family and your kids.  Ex. Abigail and Yo Gabba and picking herself up.

7. She is rewarded with praise. (28-31)

A woman who lives as an excellent wife will be greatly praised.  Her husband, kids, and those around her will praise her.  Your seeds will come back with great fruit.

Ex. Ayrton Steenhout's mother knows she made a good choice in sending her son to school. A few days after learning first aid in class, the 11-year-old Belgian boy had to use the training to resuscitate his mother, who had collapsed with a heart attack during a family outing. His mother is now fine, and Ayrton is shunning any glory. "I'm no hero," he told the news. "I just did what I had to do."

You make the right choices for your family and the blessings are bound to come back to you.

Conclusion: A little boy forgot his lines in a church play. His mother was in the front row to prompt him. She gestured and formed the words silently with her lips, but it did not help. Her son's memory was blank. Finally, she leaned forward and whispered the cue, "I am the light of the world." The child beamed and with great feeling and a loud clear voice said, "My mother is the light of the world."

Mothers are a special light.  All mothers stand.  Go find your momma if she is here – or your wife.  And lay hands on her.  If not then find a momma near you that doesn’t have family with her.