Sermon Cloud

September 7, 2008

Deuteronomy 6:1-9  “Family Worship”

            This could be perceived as maybe the least relevant sermon to this audience of any that I do all year.  The reality of Redeemer is that we are roughly 60% collegiate and the other 40% are a mix of older singles, couples with no kids, and then families with children.  So how wise is to have a sermon that, say, only 20% of the crowd can relate with?  Let me respond to that and explain why every person in here needs to listen to this.  If you are a parent or a child, this is one of the most practical and important messages I will ever preach.  If you could do what that the Bible advises, it will dramatically affect everyone in your home.  Second, nearly every one of you in here will at some point marry.  That is a statistical reality.  One of my responsibilities is to explain how you become the man or woman that God has created you to be.  Third, this relates to couples that are in some sort of dating relationship.  With so few good models out there for what it actually looks like, it’s hard to know how to “make Jesus the center” of the relationship.  Fourth, there are implications for how we live the Christian life as individuals that would apply if all of the family stuff seems too far away or if you don’t have interest in now or ever dating, marrying, or anything else.

First, the text and the obvious application of “families”

            6:1 “Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the rules that the Lord your God commanded me to teach you, that you may do them in the land to which you are going over, to possess it, 2 that you may fear the Lord your God, you and your son and your son's son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be long. 3 Hear therefore, O Israel, and be careful to do them, that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly, as the Lord, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey.4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

We see this same idea in the New Testament, just so you know. Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.  The emphasis here is on learning and doing what God has revealed us about Him and how we should relate with Him and people.  The people of Israel are about to enter the land God promised to their ancestors and He is reminding them how they should live.  Its interesting that while telling them that they need to be obedient, God tells them how they need to make this a reality:  The primary responsibility for this instruction and living is going to be the parents and it will be passed down from a dad to a son and then that man will teach it to his son (not outsourced to church programs). This doesn’t mean that women don’t play a significant role, but that the initiative is intended to rest finally with the dad.  If you are single mom, this responsibility is now solely yours. 

Men and women, to pass something down, you are going to have to learn it yourself and let it settle deeply. We want to be clear here, that we want you to follow through with Deuteronomy’s challenge.  As we will discuss in a minute, we come alongside of you, but you will answer to God for what they know and if it’s been modeled, not me.  This is why we like kids to worship together with you!

Why (v. 5)?  And what’s the goal of all of this?  I mean, isn’t this just indoctrination and getting kids to repeat back stuff to us?    It’s all about loving God with everything you’ve got!  And not any god, either.  It is the one God, the God of Israel (v. 4).  Jesus quoted this text and told us that this is the sum of the law and the prophets (along with loving your neighbor as yourself. The heart and soul of a person are pointing toward our deepest values.  God isn’t just after getting us to change our answers to questions, He wants to transform our values and give us life.  This happens through the most dramatic event in all of history: Jesus’ death and resurrection.  Deuteronomy is one of the opening acts in God’s drama of redemption. The cross and resurrection forgive Christians so that we can now love Him as accepted children. As we receive love and healing, we pass that on to our children.  But notice this all has content.  Love for God and disciplines of learning (scripture memory, reading, catechisms) are not at odds.     

Diligently (v. 7). I would like you to notice how intentional this is.  It’s in the morning.  It’s in the evening.  It’s while you are on the way to school and the ball game.  It’s consistent.  It won’t be easy, but it must be done.  What must be done?  They need to know God’s word, plain and simple and it will be accomplished through saturation of learning and modeling.  In Ephesians, discipline and instruction are passed down. 

How do we do it? I would highly recommend a daily family worship time that works for your schedule and with the ages of your children. In the same way that you have probably learned that an individual time with Jesus must be planned for it to happen with any sort of regularity, so it is with family worship.  In fact, it’s tougher to coordinate 3 or 10 people’s schedule than 1!  To help with this, we will offer a class in October to help with this where we will give you some ideas on how to catechize, teach, sing, and talk about the gospel with your kids.  One more thing.  Did you know that attending worship services consistently is one of the best and proven ways of instructing and modeling a love for Jesus to your kids?   Statistically, families that are consistent in worship have much lower rates of marital problems and serious moral failures in adolescence for the kids.  Even if you are consistently teaching your kids the Bible at home, it helps your kids hear it said in a different way by a different person.  Also, there is something powerful about worshiping Jesus corporately in the singing, preaching, and Scripture reading…especially when the kid looks up and sees a broken mom and dad who are overcome with the greatness of God and seeing people they know worshiping Jesus. 

Second, for Couples

            Bottom line: The pattern of kingdom growth is one person giving away what they know and their love for God to others around them.  See how this begins to broaden? If this truth has gripped you enough to communicate and live out with your kids, it will happen with each other.  I realize many of you might or might not have kids at this stage.  Some of you wish you did, but you have problems with infertility.  If you selfishly don’t want kids, you need to repent.  The Bible has told you be fruitful and multiply.  There is not a good reason for a married couple to be intentionally childless forever.  But regardless of whether you have kids right now or not, your marriage will be better if your relationship with Jesus comes to play in your relationship with your spouse.  How are you encouraging each other’s walk with Jesus?  Do you talk about what you are learning with each other?  Do you talk about your souls? If not, how will you pass it on to others?

            Let me add a unique group here: dating couples.  This is a tricky one because neither person is committed to the other one in any binding way and the boyfriend is not in any sort of authority over his girlfriend at this stage.  He is only candidating for the job!  But there are some principles that can be established now that will help you each love Jesus more today regardless of where the relationship goes.  What did the text tell us to do?  Be diligent.  In the morning. In the evening.  On the doorpost. On the way.  Let God’s words saturate your relationship and conversation.  Don’t be a dork about it and have lots of fun, but don’t be a functional deist, either.  Even if you realize that you don’t even like each other very much, you will have a better idea of what a healthy relationship can look like and you might be interested in something other than getting horizontal.  Also, guys learn to establish a principle of initiative (remember verse 2?).  This doesn’t mean, ladies, that you aren’t going to be the one that starts spiritual conversation.  But it does mean, guys, that I want to see a pattern of you taking the initiative.  Does she have to beg you to come to worship?  Small group?  Read the Bible?  Talk about how things are going?  Ladies, do you resist the leadership he offers?  Do you get defensive when he talks about what he learns?  Do you resist regular worship?  

Third, for Individuals and Church Family

            Do you see the pattern here?  It’s us learning and applying and then giving that away.  We are going to grow in Jesus and learn who He is and how we should live.  Then we are going to give it away to our disciples.  My first disciple is 7.  But I have others.  I have people who have less experience than myself that I share what I know and we push each other to apply it.  In Redeemer, this works best for me in our Redeemer groups and gives me an opportunity for deeper, more accountable relationships where we push each other to grow.  Think about a training partner for a big race.  You are unlikely to run as hard or as frequently without a training partner.  It still helps to train with someone even if you have better mile splits than them.  Their effort and improvement pushes you.

            I guess what I am saying is that if you are single and could care less about marriage, this still applies a lot.  First, is your life aligned to make knowing and obeying Him the main thing?  And whatever kind of things you are learning, are you passing this on to someone else?  As a church we have a responsibility to help each other and to not ignore each other just because people aren’t in the same life stage as you.  That’s what normally happens at church. Singles, don’t ignore couples and kids.  And couples, don’t ignore singles.  We have so much to offer each other and God has designed His church to work exactly the same way a family works.

            One last thing.  While kid’s growth and instruction is primarily a parental one, we certainly together serve a vital secondary role.  Surely, many kids don’t have ideal situations in terms of learning and models to watch.  This morning’s passage calls individuals to love Jesus and give that away to people, it also calls us to love the children of Redeemer.  Stop and talk with them.  Ask their name and serve in our kids’ classes. In the kids’ bulletin, we encourage families and singles to get together.  Do it!          

Fourth, Troubleshoot it!:  But what do we do when this hasn’t happened? 

1.  Help someone else?  Maybe you’ve never actually helped anyone else grow in what they know and obey.  Very few church attendees think in terms of giving grace and God’s words to people, but are in constant consumer mode of what people they like best and which services suck the least.  It might be because you aren’t a follower of Jesus!  Or it could be that you do love Him, but your life is so undisciplined that your faith is weak.  This is the biggest thing that needs to change.  If you begin to think this way, you’ll interact with Jesus’ church, look for chances to share your faith, deepen your relationships, become more focused with S.O. and be intentional with your kids.

2.  But I haven’t seen it or done it. Now what? Maybe your kids are grown and you’ve outsourced their spiritual instruction.  Maybe you received nothing at all when you grew up because your parents weren’t Christians.  Parents, you are sinners as am I.  All of us have failed to love Jesus and often His words are an afterthought to us.  And this has affected our children.  It has affected our spouses.  It has affected our Redeemer groups.  It has affected our church.  It has affected our missional reach. 

Let me give all Christians some good news:  While those sins are real and the consequences are real, Jesus’ mercy is also all the more real!  Let’s spend less time thinking of failures and more time about what you can do to make it right.  This is the biggest barrier to some of us repenting and making some much needed changes.  Are you afraid to promise change and not follow through?  Are you afraid your roommates or kids or spouse will think you are freak?  Believe the gospel.  You are counted clean.  Don’t model to your child that God’s grace can’t transform people where they’ve failed in the past.  And don’t model that to me, either! 

It doesn’t matter if your kid is in high school or elementary or preschool.  It’s not too late.  If you are married, talk and pray with your spouse.  If you are single, even if your group of Christian friends are pretty godless in your conversation, it’s not too late.   Repent to Jesus and confess your sin to your kids or spouse or friends or whoever you are living life with.  Take baby steps, but do it and live out Deuteronomy. 

What we are really arguing for is for us to know God.  J.I. Packer said that the greatest need for the church is for us to know God better.  We are pretty good at marketing, putting together niche programs, great music, and lively kids activities in the church today.  But are we great at the most important thing, knowing God?  I think we might need to acknowledge we’ve replaced God’s plan for growth…one person passing on what they know to another one in the context of a family and then in the extended family of the church…and replaced it with slick events and services.  Don’t make the same mistake.  If you make it just about your family, you devalue why Jesus made the church.  If you just do services and church activities, you neglect the private devotional life, one-on-one discipleship, and family worship that God has established in this passage.  Let’s use all means available to burn His excellence into our souls.  We want to be gripped by His grace.  One thing is for sure: you won’t be able to fake it with the little eyes that are watching!