Sermon Cloud

TEXT: 2 Samuel 18:1-19:4   TITLE: The Great Sadness

OPEN: Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.” Two weeks ago we learned that if God is not real in our worst pain, he’s not real anywhere.  The Shack speaks to that truth; and Scripture validates it over and over.

    A. We spend a lot of time and money trying to avoid pain to stay happy.  But have you ever considered that mourning and sadness might be one of God’s greatest gifts? Today I want to speak to those who are sad and grieving, and are tired of apologizing for it. Today I also want to share a word with those who are not grieving…but who are called to love those who are; because….

I. Sadness has a place in every human life.

    A. The Bible says “There is a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance” (Eccles. 3: 4).  We will all experience sorrow.  In Wm. Paul Young’s novel, The Shack,  it’s called The Great Sadness, and we first learn about it when Mack walks down his icy driveway to the mailbox and a cryptic note:

        1. “Mackenzie, It’s been a while.  I’ve missed you.  I’ll be at the shack next weekend if you want to get together.  – Papa.”  A wave of nausea rolls over Mack as he reads, because the shack is the dark symbol of his grief.  That the note is signed “Papa” (Nan’s favorite name for God) makes it all seem like a sick joke.

        2. In the first 4 chapters we learn that The Great Sadness was the abduction and murder of his six year old daughter, Missy, on a Labor Day camping trip. We read: “Shortly after the summer that Missy vanished, The Great Sadness…draped itself around Mack’s shoulders like some invisible but…heavy quilt … slowly tightening around his chest and heart like crushing coils” (The Shack, p. 27).

    B. As a pastor, I prefer to focus on joy, peace, and happiness, not sadness; but as Gary Thomas points out, “There is no spiritual sensitivity in this world without a corresponding pain and sadness.”  It’s too easy to become indifferent to the pain in this world.  The Bible says, “Jesus wept.”  And if Jesus wept…so should we. 

II. Sadness and grief have many faces.  One of the biggest misunderstandings about grief and sadness is that it must look a certain way; that there is a right and a wrong way to grieve.  In fact, grief has many faces…and  many expressions.

    A. When David’s traitorous son Absalom is killed at the hands of his own men; he is overwhelmed with sorrow and regret: “O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom!  Would that I had died instead of you….” (2 Sam.18:33).

       1. Regret is one of the most common emotions that we feel at the death of a loved one, the loss of our health, a job, a relationship, or a dream.  We feel the weight of what might have been; what we could or would have done differently.

        2. “It’s so easy to get sucked into the if-only game” Mack thinks to himself.  “If only he had decided not to take the kids on that trip; if only he had said no when they asked to use the canoe; if only he had left the day before; if only, if only, if only” (pp. 66-67).  Is there anywhere to go from “if only”?  Is there anywhere to go from regretting what we can’t change?   Consider Ruth & Naomi:

    B. The Book of Ruth begins with a tragedy.  Naomi, Ruth and Orpah, a widow and her daughters-in-law, lose their husbands and everything of material value in Moab.  Naomi, decides to return to her homeland in Israel, and in Ruth 1: 8-13:

        1. Naomi urges Orpah and Ruth (both Moabites) to stay behind: “Go back each of you to your mother’s house….it has been far more bitter for me than for you, because the hand of the LORD has turned against me.  And they wept aloud.” 

        2. Naomi responds to the grief of losing her husband by withdrawing from her daughters and from God…telling them to go back to their homeland; and concluding that God himself has turned against her; that God is punishing her.  

        3.  For many of us, it’s easier to “believe” in God’s goodness when things are going smoothly.  So, we’re not surprised that Mack feels a growing rift between himself and God; and tries instead “to embrace a stoic, unfeeling faith…He was sick of God and God’s religion” (pp. 67-68). Have you ever felt like Mack?

            a. What Mack was sick of was a religion that didn’t seem to make any real difference in people’s lives.  His personal tragedy made him hungry for the true God; a God who was alive and real; and a faith that made sense of a hurting world.

        4. In his pain and grief, Mack withdrew from God; but withdrawal is not the only expression of grief.  Ruth, also suffered the death of a loved one, but she refused to leave Naomi and promised to follow her with words of lasting devotion:  “Where you go I will go” she tells her, “Where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God” (Ruth 1: 16). 

            a. Was the pain of Ruth’s grief less than that of Naomi’s?  No.  But instead of drawing away, Ruth chose to draw near.  Instead of questioning her faith, it was reborn in the act of loving Naomi. Sometimes the best thing we can do in our grief…is to turn around and love someone else; to focus all the energy of our grief into a deep compassion for others who are suffering like we have suffered!

    C. One more example of grief from Scripture is Job, whose entire family is taken from him along with his health and worldly possessions.  He is famous for saying  “The LORD gave  and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD” but that doesn’t mean he stops wrestling with God.  Job teaches us that we can question God and wrestle with God, that we can cry out to God, “Why? Why?” and still trust him, still accept his sovereignty over all of life (Job 1: 13-21).  

    D. The Bible illustrates many tasks in the process of grief (anger, regret, drawing away, drawing nearer, prayer, pleading, doubt, faith and acceptance). 

        1. None of us can avoid the tasks of grief; but we can choose how they turn us.  We can let a tragedy be the catalyst for despair, or hope; resentment or forgiveness, cynicism or compassion; for giving up or standing up.  No one said it better than the Apostle Paul (READ 2 Corinthians 4: 7-11).  We’ve been focusing on the different faces of grief…but I want to end by talking about how….

III. We can give special grace to others in their sadness. Consider the fact that the Son of God (our Savior and Lord) on the night of his arrest, “said to [Peter, James, and John] ‘I am deeply grieved, even to death; remain here, and stay awake with me’” (Matt. 26:38).  There are 3 gifts Jesus teaches us to give to the grieving:

    A. The gift of simply being there.  Jesus shows us by his example, that our presence with those who grieve is a tremendous gift.  There is a powerful scene early in The Shack when Mack must walk into the very place his daughter was murdered and identify her clothing. It’s unimaginable…but we read:

        1. “Although Mack didn’t hear anything, he suddenly felt Emil and Tommy each take one of his arms as they turned and followed the special agent down the short path to the shack.  Three grown men, arms locked in some special grace of solidarity, walking together, each one toward his own worst nightmare” (p. 65). 

        2. On the night of his arrest in the Garden of Gethsemene, Jesus needed friends who would simply “stay awake” with him.  Each of us needs “the special grace of solidarity” – the gift of “garden friends” who will be solidly with us and for us. 

        3. Some of us have suffered grief alone. We were hurt, or judged, or abandoned in our sadness.  That can leave a deep scar of anger and bitterness.  We need to be reminded (by garden friends) of the truth that Jesus was there, and is with us now.

    B. The gift of our patience: Many of us to try to fix people who are heavy with grief…to help them “get over it.” Why?  Often it’s driven by our discomfort.  The grief of others can bring our own fears and anxieties to the surface. 

        1. Listen: the last thing the grieving need from us is pressure to “get over it” or someone to talk them “out of it.” Give those you love the gift of your patience as they work through their grief; knowing that you will need the same one day.

    C. The gift of our faith:  When we are in grief, it’s often hard to pray alone.  We need others to pray for us or with us.  In Mack’s life, Nan was the spiritual anchor.  At the loss of their daughter, we read that “they held each other and wept as Mack poured out his sorrow and Nan tried to hold him in one piece” (p. 56).

        1. Whether it’s the loss of health, a job, a relationship, a dream etc., my prayer is that you will take the opportunity this week…to share that burden in your Lifegroup…with a spouse or a garden friend; pray, and experience God’s comfort.

      D.  We’ve been talking about the gifts that others can give us in our sadness; but don’t forget that sadness itself is a “special grace” from God; that God can do miracles through those who mourn their losses, their sins, and the  wrongs of this world that God wants to make right.

        1. Lisa whose father died 4 years ago now leads a special grief group for middle school children.  Her experience has given her a new sensitivity and compassion for those who mourn the death of a parent or loved one; and she knows how important it is to have someone who can listen and pray for us.

        2. Gary Haugen, the President of IJM, loves his own children very much…but it’s his grief and sadness over the Missy’s of this world, over the abuse of other people’s children, which moved him to take action.  At a White House address, Sharon Cohn of IJM said this: “While there are millions of girls and women victimized every day, our work will always be about the one.  The one girl deceived.  The one girl kidnapped.  The one girl raped.  The one girl infected with AIDS.  The one girl needing a rescuer.  To succumb to the enormity of the problem is to fail the one.  And more is required of us.”   

CLOSE:  In Gary Thomas’ book, Authentic Faith, I read about a guy who made this unusual confession: “I’m a Christian because for once I feel pain.  For the first time in ten years, I feel sadness.  That’s why I’m a Christian.”  Mark was a man who lived a ruthless, self-indulgent, pleasure-seeking life.  But when his heart was awakened by faith he experienced two things that were strangers throughout his life: mourning and sadness.  “I’m a Christian because for once I feel pain.”

    A. What we’ve learned today is that Great Sadness is one of God’s greatest gifts; that it has an important place in every life, that it has many faces, many expressions; and that God offers special grace to those who mourn, through us.  

    B. To feel godly sorrow is to be honest about our pain, and the pain we’ve inflicted, deeply concerned about a wounded world; and ready and willing to be part of God’s healing work.

    C. In his grief and sadness, Mack received a message: “It’s been a while.  I’ve missed you.  I’ll be at the shack next weekend if you want to get together.  – Papa.”  Or as Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.”  May God grant us to know the blessing….of both.