Sermon Cloud

Gospel Parenting. Eph 6:1-4. Children are a blessing, not a burden; they are a gift from the Lord and they are to be desired. City has been slow to believe that. Resurgence lately (since 2000 children under 5 increased by 32%). The Scriptures teach us that men should desire fatherhood and seek to become the kind of men that can be good fathers to their sons and daughters. Psalm 128 (and other scriptures) teaches that a blessed and fulfilled man is one who has a good wife and children that gather around his table at meal time and give him many grandchildren.  According to Scripture this is the fulfilled life. There are some men and women with the gift of singleness but most are meant to marry and have a family. If you’re single, part of maturing into manhood/ womanhood is embracing covenant commitment of marriage and pursuing the privilege of parenthood. This is God’s design. Genesis 2:24; 1:27-28. Leave, cleave, multiply and fill the earth. The culture has tragically reversed this so that we have a culture of what one writer describes as “hook-up, shack-up, break-up,” and it has had devastating consequences particularly on women and children who find themselves abandoned by a man who wanted sex without whole life commitment and responsibility. “Hook-up, Shack-Up, Break-up” is not God’s design. His design is that you would marry, be sexually fulfilled with your spouse alone and have children so that your family can honor God, be a joy to one another and be a blessing to this broken world. Do you have a vision for this? A radical redefinition of a fulfilled life. Most seek fun at the expense of fulfillment. You were not created for entertainment and exploits; you were created for Commitment and Legacy (to leave, cleave, and multiply and fill the earth)– that you would grow up, find a spouse, and leave this world with a legacy of godly and responsible children that would honor God and make the world a better place. [Word to those who are trying to start a family. The desire to give birth to a child can be overwhelming – Rachel to Jacob – Give me children or I will die!(Gen 30:1). Prov 30:15-16 – barren womb never says enough. But the emphasis in Scripture is not on birthing children, as beautiful and joyful as it is. The emphasis is on shepherding and parenting them (even more beautiful and joyful). Paul was childless, but called both Timothy and Titus “my true child in the faith.”] This text tells us in a few words the privilege and responsibility of being parents. Single men, gain some aspirations; Single women, clarify what kind of man you want to father your children.

The Home is to Be Jesus-centered and not Child-Centered. The Lord’s revealed will in the Scripture is what orders and gives structure to the family. The child’s part is to obey his/her parents with a heart submitted first to Jesus. Children who grow up in homes where life was about them, become adults…self-absorbed lives as consumers who never learn to sacrifice for bigger than themselves. Parents need to teach their kids that Jesus’ will is greater than their own, and his will is that children would love and honor God first and do so partly by loving and obeying their parents he gave them. And they are to truly value their parents showing them honor and respect. As we get older the command to honor our parents takes on more relevance. If we give attention to it, God promises to bless us. Parent’s if you want God to bless you children, require them to obey God and by extension to obey you.

Fathers Have a Leading Responsibility in the Home. 6:4. The Father’s role in a family is critical. Stats show that the absence of a father has devastating results upon children and communities. The scriptures teach that the Father’s role is to be towards his children like God is toward his children; compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in love; God instructs and corrects his children with wisdom and righteousness so they become men and women of God who honor God, love Jesus and make the world a better place.  This is a high calling.

Fathers are to Nurture their children. Fathers are to provide for their children physically, emotionally, spiritually and protect them. He is to meet his kids’ needs. He is to give them his time and attention, not his leftovers; show them affection, hug them, kiss them, read to them, tuck them into bed. He is to wrestle with his sons, take his daughter out on dates. As his children’s protector, he guards them from harmful influences and set boundaries on his kids for their own protection. A Daddy is to guard their daughters from immature, irresponsible, lustful boys and preserve and protect her purity until one day he gives his daughter away to a godly, respectable man who will take over. Daddies are to pray for their spiritual formation. “What if God did in you kids life ONLY what you prayed for?” – Bruce Wesley

Fathers are to Instruct their children. Daddies need to teach their children the Scripture, reading it, explaining it, applying it to the family. Deuteronomy 6:4-9; normal routines of life/designated times. “How equipped would your kids be based ONLY on your day-to-day conversations about God?” – Bruce Wesley. Proverbs: a daddy talking to his sons (Prov 1:8; 2:1; 3:1; 4:1). Daddy’s are to teach their kids to stand for truth and standing with them when they stand for truth. Illus: Neeley and the Trinity. Children need to see their daddies reading the bible and praying on their own. They need to model it to their kids; instruct with integrity. When kids have a question about spiritual matters, first one they should think about is Dad.

Fathers are to Discipline their children. The word discipline means training including correction. Daddies show and tell their kids what God expects of them and lovingly corrects them when they disobey. *Fathers who delight in their children discipline them - Prov. 3.11 “My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, 12 for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.” *Fathers who hate their children don’t discipline them. Prov. 13.24 “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” Discipline is to be corrective not vindictive. As dads we don’t discipline our kids out of anger but out of anguish; they grieved God, and their actions will cultivate and solidify their character. We must point them to the Gospel in our discipline; not simply better behavior; but their need for Jesus and the Gospel. We lead them to see that they are sinners/Jesus is savior Illus: Judson’s breakdown and my prayers of repentance.

Anger will destroy all of this. Anger is a relationship killer. It smothers all other emotions. Fathers at risk of awakening anger in their children; children at risk of becoming angry toward their fathers (for being harsh, angry, absent, abusive, hypocritical, unfaithful and you are angry). How does God overcome this relationship killer? Ephesians 4:31-5:2.

Parents: You have to be Parented by God before you can Parent like God. You have to seek to relate to your children the way God relates to you; the kindness of God toward you, his tenderheartedness, his compassion for you. You are sinful, yet you are loved by God. He suffers loss to become a Father to us. Son of God was treated like an enemy because of our sins, so that we who were enemies because of our sins could be treated like sons and daughters. He is a Father who is slow to anger, compassionate, abounding in loving kindness; a Heavenly father who is not angry, harsh, absent, or negligent. As you let him Father you that way, he turns you into a father like he is – full of suffering love, patient, forgiving, gentle…That is how anger is averted and joyful affections are awakened instead. You see all you can be as a Father in the Father he is to you. All he is requiring of you, he is being for you. One thing God never has to do is repent to his children; we do.  Go home and repent to your kids.

Sons/Daughters: You have to be Fathered by God before you can Forgive like God. Those who are angry toward their fathers/mothers because of the failures and offenses done to them will never flourish in their anger. You have to see that in God you have a Father who is perfect. He is not angry, abusive, negligent, harsh, but a God who is kind and tenderhearted and has gone to great lengths to become a Father to you. And, when you see him forgiving all your offenses, all your failures, and becoming a perfect Father to you, you can forgive the offense and failures of your earthly fathers and mothers; you can put it away your anger and malice and bitterness and say, “God has forgiven me for all my failures and offenses, I cannot hold others offense and failures against them.” I will not be bitter over having a sinful father who disappointed me, since now because of Jesus I have a sinless father who will not ultimately disappoint me. I am content with his Fatherhood over me so that I can now forgive my fathers sins against me, walk in a way radically different from it and leave a new legacy for my children.