Sermon Cloud

“Did You Say Something?”                  James 1:19-20                               3/23/08

Introduction: As a child whenever my family when to visit my paternal grandparents I loved it.  Mainly because they lived about 75 yards away from a railroad track.  As a kid when that train came screaming by and you couldn’t hear yourself I just loved it.  As an adult Gay and I lived near a train track in Cartersville. [Illustrate: 7:30, 11:15] I love the sound of a train whistle off in the distance.  However, the longer we lived there the less I really heard the train whistle.  I mean, I heard it, but I just wasn’t listening for it anymore.  I’d grown used to it.  

Life with Eeyore is a lot like living next to a railroad track.  The first time the train of negativity comes roaring by you’re like: “Whoa, what in the world?!”  It catches you off guard, confuses you, and mildly disorients you.  After a while, you simply learn this is this person, if it’s in a work situation you make excuses to others for their pessimism [That’s Steve…he just acts this way] or worse you simply start to ignore him.  Eeyore may say, “Did you hear what I said?”  and your response will be, “Did you say something?”  Learning how to listen to Eeyore and filter through the negative is critical especially if you’re in a relationship with one and that’s where we find ourselves this morning.   

Read James 1:19-20

Body: The people that James is writing to are real people, living in the real world, dealing with real problems, and trying to live a real faith.  The bible doesn’t present a sanitized version of what following Christ is like and that’s good.  It offers real hope and real solutions during real difficulties.  These are people who’re enduring trials of many kinds, and having their faith tested.  Obviously, God hasn’t hidden the fact that even in the early church there was trouble with how people lived their faith among those who didn’t believe as well as those who did.  Consequently, what this says is scripture is relevant to where we are and what we’re experiencing. 

Learning to listen to Eeyore isn’t easy. Quote: Elizabeth baker says, “…the skill is only taught via on-the-job training.  You have to be in relationship with Eeyore and be hearing what you don’t want to hear before you can practice.”  It’s like never learning to swim and going boating and having the boat sink in which cause now, because you have no other choice - you’ll learn to swim.

If you’re an artist you see colors at night time.  Songwriters can find lyrics and in a conversation with a child, mathematicians can point out a formula for ceiling panel arrangement.  As a pastor I find sermon & series ideas standing in line at Target.  Eeyores find defects and imperfections.  [ILL: new building]    

It’s easier to be critical than correct and listening to what may appear to be a steady stream of criticism from Eeyore isn’t easy.  Our society doesn’t have the greatest listening skills in the first place and if you’re going to live, work, worship with, and serve God alongside Eeyore you better learn how to listen.  “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry” (Js 1:19).

The people James is writing to are real people, living in the real world, dealing with real problems, and trying to live a real faith.  The bible doesn’t present a sanitized version of what following Christ is like and that’s good.  It offers real hope and real solutions during real difficulties.  These are people who’re enduring trials of many kinds, and having their faith tested.  Obviously, God hasn’t hidden the fact that even in the early church there was trouble with how people lived their faith among those who didn’t believe as well as those who did.  Consequently, what this says is scripture is relevant to where we are and what we’re experiencing.

Perhaps the first thing we need to do when it comes to listening to Eeyore is this:

1.      Accept Him: We’ve just celebrated Good Friday and Easter Sunday and if they teach us anything it’s people matter to God.  If people (including Eeyore) didn’t natter to God then Christ wouldn’t have endured the Cross.  Grace (undeserved love) gives people breathing room and the ability to be less than perfect.  The ground at the cross is level.  No one stands higher than anyone else. 

God accepts us so we’re called to accept others.  “And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession” (Jas 1:18).  If you’re a follower of Christ you’re God’s prized possession and as difficult as Eeyore can be don’t give up on him.  Why?  Because God never gave up on you and look what he just called you!   “Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love” (Eph 4:2).

In our acceptance of Eeyore and other negative and difficult people in life please understand that it’s not your job to change them.  You don’t have to be the Holy Spirit.  Changing people’s lives isn’t up to you it’s up to God.  What God wants you to display is acceptance and possibly even friendship.

Jesus said, “Your eyes are the lamp for your body” (Lk 11:34a CEV).  Think about this.  When Creator God put on human skin and came to earth he did so in order to have eye contact with us.  Scripture records instances when Jesus locked eyes with those he came to be with.  “Jesus looked at him and loved him” (Mk 10:21a NIV).   Sometimes we don’t look at people with the silent hope that if we avoid eye contact they’ll be quiet.  Eeyore, however, may talk more in an effort to ensure you hear him.  Want to dull the roar of the train look at him.

Isn’t there something satisfying in knowing that someone just listened to what you had to say?  There is, isn’t there?  If we can’t listen to someone we can see face-to-face then how can we listen to God whom we can’t see?

3.     Reflect & Repeat: When you’re engaged in a conversation are you quick to respond?  Do you have a tendency to interrupt people?  If so, this step may be difficult for you, and you’ll probably need to make a conscious effort not to respond right away, even in your head, until Eeyore is finished speaking.  James said, “You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak…” (Jas 1;19b).  Have you ever had a cell phone conversation with someone and both parties are trying to talk at the same time?  It’s that 1 second delay that creates chaos and confusion, right?  Resist the urge to jump and respond.

Instead, one of the greatest ways to demonstrate that you actually heard what someone said is repeating back to them what they just said.  It simply verifies that, “Yes, I was listening to you.”  Just repeat what they said.  “So what you’re saying is…” or “What I’m hearing you say is…”  I’d also say watch your body language.  This is one way to send a signal that you’re truly being slow to speak vs. whether you’re loading both barrels for a scathing response.

[ILL: Jeff Foxworthy says, “Early in our marriage I made the mistake of thinking that when my wife says we need to talk she actually wanted me to talk.”  Most people don’t really want us to solve their problems.  Most just want a sounding board.  They want us to listen and hear them.  Sometimes we don’t hold the phone real well because we’re uncomfortable, we turn the situation into a joke, or we throw out bible verses in an effort to try and help.  “Fools have no desire to learn; they would much rather give their own opinion” (Prov. 18:2 CEV).  If we aren’t willing to reflect and repeat what we heard Eeyore say what we may be showing is our own foolishness.  Eleven verse later the writer says, “Anyone who answers without listening is foolish and confused” (Prov. 18:13 NCV).

Learn to listen by slowing down your need to respond and instead reflect on your thoughts and then repeat what you heard.  Until you can convince Eeyore you truly heard what was said no real communication is possible.

4. Be Honest: If you’re in conversation with Eeyore and he dumps the truck of negativity all over you, which is highly likely and you don’t really know what to do.  Don’t throw up your hands and walk away.  Don’t strangle him.  Don’t lash out.  James says, “A man's anger doesn't produce the kind of life God wants” (Jas 1:20 NIRV).  What kind of life does God want?  We saw it last week, but here it is again from another angle.  “God’s will is for you to be holy…” (1 Thess. 4:3a).  Holiness is the kind of life that God wants for you and he also wants Eeyore to see it in you.

What Eeyore may need at that moment is your presence.  Let your presence be felt through your acceptance, eye contact, reflecting & repeating and you just might be surprised at how the love of God touches the one you are listening to.  It’s a whole lot easier to jump down someone’s throat and chew them out or explode all over them in a fit of rage, but you’ll do more damage than good.  “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare” (Prov. 15:1).

There may come a time when Eeyore makes you angry and I’d remind you that being angry is not at all sin.  “Be angry and do not sin.” (Eph.4:26a HCSB).  In other words, there is permission to feel the hurt and pain, that’s natural, but it’s supernatural to forgive like Christ did.  Paul is saying we need to control our anger rather than let our anger control us, which is why Paul goes on to say, “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger” (Eph 4:26b HCSB).  You don’t have to have an answer for every situation, a remedy for every problem, or a scripture verse for all circumstances.  Again, most people don’t want or expect that.  Simply be honest.  If you don’t know what to say to Eeyore then be honest and admit it. 

5.     Run Away: There actually comes a point when this may be OK.  Having to spend extended blocks of time with Eeyore can be difficult, but periodically you may simply need to distance yourself from the railroad tracks.  [IILL: Staying in a hotel, count doors to stairway exit in case of fire, when you fly the flight attendant directs your attention to the emergency exits…just in case]  When you’re with Eeyore it’s not a bad thing to know where the exits are.

When the clouds are too thick, life couldn’t be worse, or Hell can’t unleash more fury into Eeyore’s world you may need to run away in order to recharge your spiritual batteries.  Jesus did it.  “Then Jesus went into a house to get away from the crowd…” (Mk 7:17a). 

Go visit Tigger, Piglet or Pooh.  Go exercise, go fishing, take in a movie, read a book in quiet place, go for a hike.  If you’re guy go shoot stuff (not people). Never dismiss the therapeutic value of discharging large quantities of ammunition.  “Then Jesus said, ‘Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile’” (Mk 6:31).  Being in a relationship with Eeyore can be draining and you’ll need to periodically run away, rest, and regain balance.  If Jesus did it and it’s good enough for him it should be good enough for us too.

Elizabeth Baker gives four important “don’ts” that worth mentioning.  1. Don’t feel guilty; 2. Don’t tempt yourself (explain: shopping, sinful temptations, etc); 3. Don’t stay gone; 4. Don’t avoid Eeyore altogether.

Conclusion: It’s not easy living next to a railroad track, but if you have some simple skills under your belt, stay in the Word, and remember that God is using Eeyore to sharpen your character you’re more likely not to throw in the towel and move away to a quieter corner of The Hundred Acre Wood.  In our life with Eeyore if we’re going to learn to listen to him then we’ve got to Accept Him, Lock Eyes, Reflect & Repeat, Be Honest, and sometimes Run Away.