Sermon Cloud

Loopholes are a kids' dream. Your parents strictly prohibit you hitting your sister. But they didn't' say anything about slapping. I'm sure I'm not the only one who exploited loopholes back in the day.
I remember seeing Mason Pride brilliantly exploit a loophole in getting himself some extra donuts. I overhead Tonya laying down strict orders, "you're one to have one donut." But Mason knew that if he touched more than one, mom wasn't gonna leave it on the table for someone else to eat, so he would touch two or three as a tried to decide which "one" he could have. Which earned him an exasperated look from mom. But Mason is so grown-up now, he'd never pull a stunt like that.
It seems that some people of Jesus' day had found a loophole. Commandment number 7 of the 10 Commandments was very clear, Exodus 20:14. But it seems that a lot of guys and ladies were thinking, "just because I enjoy looking at the menu doesn't mean I have to order dinner." The loophole was, "I can do whatever I want with my eyes, or imagine whatever scenario I want in my mind, as long as our bodies don't touch." But then that radical, cross-cultural revolutionary dude named Jesus closes that loophole, vs. 28.
"Come one, Jesus, I'm not really hurting anyone. No one else has to know what's happening in my mind. What's the big deal?" That's the way most people would think. Jesus however, tells us something quite different. "It's not just about how you use your body, it's also about how you use your mind."
This passage is typical of Jesus' teachings. His teachings at first seem crazy and impossible. But Jesus knows that with his help, we can live this way. And if we follow his teachings we'll 1)protect ourselves from harm and 2)treat people in an honorable way.
Before we get into what Jesus is telling us here, I want to take a moment to point out what he's not telling us. Jesus is NOT saying it's a sin to notice a woman's beauty. God loves beauty. And he created a beautiful world full of beautiful people. And different cultures and different time periods have had various definitions of beauty. But God is the source of that beauty. So guys, it's okay to appreciate a woman's beauty. And ladies, it's okay to notice that someone else's husband is a great guy. It's okay to appreciate that this other man seems like a great husband. Our good God wants to pattern us after his goodness. And our church if full of good husbands married to beautiful wives. And recognizing these good qualities with which God has created us is a way of worshipping God.
Jesus isn't trying to make us neurotic, telling us it's a sin to notice the beauty of another woman or the qualities of another man.
But what he is telling us is that we're not to take another person and make them the object of our self-centered desire. That is lust. Jesus is going past the normal, natural reactions, down to our hearts - our motives. Where we exercise control over those natural attractions.
It's also really important to note that although in this passage, Jesus is speaking specifically to men, lust isn't a man-only problem. Right? Women lust just as often as men. But there is usually a difference between the lust of a man and the lust of a woman. Men usually lust with their eyes. They take a woman with their eyes and then undress her in their minds. This is why most visual pornography is directed toward men. But most literary pornography - like romance novels and erotic stories - are directed toward women. Why? Because women are often aroused by what they hear. A woman's lust is imagining that wonderful coworker of hers whispering sweet nothings in her ear. Ladies, often your temptation to lust after another man flows out of the deep hurts in your heart. Only God, not your husband, can heal the deep wounds in your heart. But from those heart- wounds you're tempted to think, "look at how wonderful that guys is. If only I had married him, things would've been so much different." Whether it's with the eyes or the emotions, any type of lust is sin.
A word in the Bible's original language that is often used to describe sinful sexual activity is the word, porneo. It's where we get the English word pornography. You could sum up the meaning of porneo with just one word, USE. Porneo = Take and Use. Porneo means to take another human being and use them to satisfy your own sexual desire. Which is why pornography is so destructive to our entire society, because it is turning a person created by God into an object whose only purpose is to fulfill my desire. Porneo is also used to define any type of sinful sex. Sex outside of God's boundaries.
"I knew it, the church is against sex." Nope, that's not what I'm saying. We are all for sex. In fact... I can't really think of anything I'd rather do than make love to my wife. My wife however, could think of a lot of things she'd rather do than listen to me talk about sex - she's serving in the nursery this morning. We've got pregnant ladies and newborns, we're all for sex.
As long as all sexual activity is kept within its proper place. Which is what? The proper place (according to the Bible) is the marriage bed. (Hebrews 13:4) Or could also be the marriage living room, back yard, front yard. The marriage of a man and woman is what God intended for sex. Which is why despite some temporary thrills, marriage is the only place you'll find deep sexual fulfillment. Outside of marriage, sex destroys. Within marriage, sex adds pleasure and intimacy to the relationship. So get married and have lots of sex, with your spouse.
There's a lot more I could say. In the fall of 06, I preached a sermon series entitled Pure Sex. You can find those sermons on our website. And within about two weeks or so, we'll be launching a whole new website and you'll be able to download the podcasts! That may pump me up more than anyone else.
Jesus wants us to be people of love, not people of lust. True love is about putting others first. Love is serving another person. Lust is the exact opposite of love. Lust = Me Worship. Lust is the worship of me; my wants, my needs, my desires. And Jesus warns us that lust happens not just in a physical bed but also in our imagination. Which is what the word "lust" means, it literally means "in the mind."
It starts with this deep lack of satisfaction in life. So this thought enters our mind, "if only I had him or her, then I'd be satisfied." We have this thought that we're incomplete or lacking and this craving in front of us promises to deliver the answer. But it never does.
In fact, lust does two terrible things to us that Jesus is desperately wanting us to avoid. First of all, Lust reduces. Our sexuality can't be shoved into some remote compartment of our lives that has no bearing on the other areas of our lives. We are sexual beings. But we're also emotional beings. Spiritual beings. Relational beings. Our sexuality is a part of who we are, but it isn't the sum total of who we are. Sexual sin invades the other areas of our lives, destroys those other areas. And lust takes another person and reduces them to their sexual component. When you lust after another person, you're ignoring all the other aspects of who they are as a person and viewing them as only a sexual being. But it's even more than that. Lust is also reducing another person down to a sexual object that exists only to meet my sexual desires. Remember, lust is "me-worship." Love is me serving you. Lust is making you serve me, even if you don't know that I'm using you.
The reason that we're multi-faceted beings is because we were created in the image of God. In the creation poem of Genesis 1, we're told that God created human beings in his very own image.
A few years ago, I had the incredible privilege of standing in the Louvre museum in Paris and seeing the Mona Lisa with my own eyes. Of the thousands of paintings in the Louvre, this one drew the biggest crowd. Why? Because of all the artists from all of history, Leonardo Davinci is one of the best and most celebrated.
And every single human being has been created by the original artist. We were created in the image of our almighty God. He put the signature of his master-craftsmanship on our lives. We're image bearers of God. And to take another human being, an image bearer of God, and reduce them to a sexual object who exists to meet your own selfish desire goes against the very fabric of God's creation.
And what's really scary is that that kind of reduction is celebrated in our society. Listen to this quote from Doug Roberts, a contributor to Glamour, "One of the things I love about fantasy is that it's sex with anybody I want: Halle Berry, the weather-woman, the blond who brushed against me on the subway... I can summon any one (or two) of these ladies for romp under the covers. Or on the kitchen table. Or in an Exxon station bathroom, for that matter. Why not be adventurous? It's not as if she'll balk at the idea... Ah, the freedom of your own mind. When you don't have somebody else's wants and needs to consider, you can have whatever experience you'd like." That is porneo. That is reducing an image-bearer of God into a sexual object.
Second thing lust does - Lust enslaves Lust is never, ever, ever satisfied. Just one more time with him and I'll be satisfied. Just one more fantasy and I'll get it out of my system. Just one more look... No, it doesn't work that way. We get enslaved because we need more and more. It's called the Law of Diminishing Returns. What stimulates this time won't be strong enough the next. You'll need more.
I'm sharing some of the same ideas this morning that I shared during the Pure Sex series in 2006. I told a story back then that I want to share with you again.
It was told by a Pastor in Indiana about a good friend of his from college. A guy named Mike. Mike was the all-American guy. Academic Scholarship, good athlete, Student Body President, ladies loved him - seriously, everything going for him.
2nd day of his freshman year, Mike took a risk. He told his new friend Rob (the Pastor telling this story) that he had a secret he'd kept hidden for years.
"When I was 11 years old, I was walking along the train track and lying alongside the track was a discarded magazine. I bent over and picked it up and it was a porn magazine. That's where it started. All through middle school and all through High School, I lived two lives. The Mike that everyone knew - the good athlete, student, Christian. I was sincere about those commitments. But I also had a life no one else knew about. A secret habit that was growing and growing." Now that I'm in college, I feel like I have a fresh start. I want to break free, can you help?"
Rob and Mike gathered some other friends together and formed an accountability group. All through college, they challenged each other to live pure. And when they occasionally failed, they picked each other back up. Mike's commitment to Christ was strong and authentic.
Mike and Rob graduated college, went their separate ways. Mike was hired by a fortune 500 company, married a beautiful woman. About a year later they had a baby.
Eventually Mike felt the call of God into full-time ministry. Mike took a huge pay cut and became a Youth Pastor.
But what Rob didn't know, is that after college, Mike had started to struggle with pornography again. Mike hoped that this ministry position would help him in his struggle, but it actually resulted in him becoming more isolated. He didn't feel like going up to the lead Pastor in his new church and tell him, "hey, I'm addicted to porn."
Mike just kept getting deeper and deeper into internet pornography. Mike eventually started looking at stuff that years before would've disgusted him. But he needed more and more stimulation. He needed more and more violent and demeaning images to get a thrill.
He eventually got caught trying to steal a video at the only video store in town. Small town, word travels fast. Everyone knew. The church just kicked him out.
You can imagine what all of this did to his marriage. Mike was able to quit for awhile, but he didn't repair his marriage and he didn't deal with his emotional pain, he didn't seek out accountability so he got back into the porn.
But eventually just looking wasn't enough anymore. He started acting out. Mike went to coffee shops, started a conversation with the best looking girl there and sometimes he'd talk her into taking him home.
But after doing this for awhile, he'd start to stalk the girls who refused to take him home. He'd park his car outside their house. And imagine what he would do if he were in there.
One day Mike followed a girl home but didn't stay in the car. Broke into her home and raped her in her own bed.
And them Mike took all of his money out of savings, drove into downtown Cleveland to hire a hit man to kill him. So at least his wife and kids could cash in his life insurance policy. But instead of contracting a hit man, he ran into an undercover cop.
And the next time that Rob saw his buddy Mike, it was through a Plexiglas window. As Mike sat in his orange prison garb in his little cell.
The all-American college student was gone. He'd lost his wife. His kids. His freedom. His self-respect. It was all gone!
Mike began by feeding his lust and eventually his lust turned and devoured him! That's what lust does!

No one starts out with the goal of ruining their marriage. Your intent wasn't to alienate your husband, you just liked the attention he gave you. You didn't want to become an addict, you were just curious.
It is out of love for us that Jesus says "don't." Don't reduce people to objects. Don't feed that monster. Cherish sex as a gift, not as a way to satisfy some selfish needs.
This is a hard message to preach. It's not often I preach a message knowing that every single person in the room has committed this sin. Or knowing that many of the people in the room are struggling with this sin right now. It's also hard to preach when in the back of your mind are all the times you screwed up.
But here's the hope: CHRIST IS RISEN! If God can raise Jesus from the dead, then believe me, he can release you from the chains of lust. So let me share two steps you can take to get lust out of your life completely.
Starve your Lust
Matthew 5: 29-30 Jesus is being rhetorical, but he's being firm, too. Whatever pulls you into lust - get rid of it. You know your trigger points - eliminate them! Maybe you stop hanging out with that person, maybe you get an internet filter.
The best way to starve your lust is get accountable with another person. Find someone you trust and say, "hey, I'm really struggling." And you'll find that when it's taken out of the darkness and placed in the light, lust loses a lot of its allure.
Lust is built in a lie. Lust promises what it can't deliver. When you're being tempted, ask God to help you see the lie. And your lust will start to starve.
Feed your Love
The hooks of lust dig down deep. You won't be free until you find something you want more. It's not about getting rid of desire. It's about giving yourself to bigger and better and more powerful desires.
Don't just run from lust, but run toward loving relationships. You can be retrained to view every person not as an object to be used but as a person created in the image of God. A person worthy of our respect and love.
It's not about toning down and repressing your God-given desires and energy. It's about channeling it and focusing it and turning it loose on something beautiful, something pure and true and good, something that connects you with God, with others, with the world.
I want you to say it with me, "Starve your lust, feed your love." As you live out that pattern, you'll extinguish lust and ignite love.
Sex is one of God's greatest gifts to humanity, if not the greatest gift. It also has the greatest potential for destruction. And we've all faced some form of destruction. Please hear me, sexual sin is NOT the unforgivable sin. It's not the end of your story.
We can know this because, CHRIST IS RISEN!
Jesus Christ has returned from the dead. The Risen Christ is here among us to forgive and to restore.
Prayer

Blessing
Philipians 4:6-9