Sermon Cloud

There was a scene from an episode of Friends, in which Monica asks her new boyfriend, he had been her friend and had just become her boyfriend “so we can still be friends and have sex?”  He replies, “sure, it will just be something we do together, like racquetball.”

That could be the tagline for our society; sex is just a game like racquetball.  Just something two adults do together in order to have a good time.  Pick up a men’s health magazine or a woman’s fashion magazine, open up to that article about sex that is advertised on the front cover and you’ll see that the article is focused upon solely upon technique or physical pleasure.  Sex is entertainment.  It’s recreation. 

No worry about love (as you heard from that song), no concern about the relationships, certainly no thought given to the pain and scars that come from practicing “wrong sex.”  We’re adults, we can do whatever we want – why does it matter what we do? 

During the next 4 weeks, we’re going to talk about WHY sex DOES matter.  We’re going to discuss God’s plan for sex.  How to break free from sexual addiction.  What lust does to us and how to overcome the snares of temptation.  Everyone talks about sex.  It’s time Trinity Family hopped on board.  These next four weeks we’re coming at you not from Dr. Ruth’s perspective, but God’s perspective. 

To get God’s perspective, we’re going to read from the 2^nd chapter of our Bible.  The book of Genesis.  Genesis literally means beginning.  When we look back at the beginning of human history, we can see God’s original plan for us. 

Genesis 2:18-25

God sees that man needs a companion.  It’s interesting that man wasn’t satisfied with a relationship with only God.  He also needed a relationship with another human.  But God starts by giving him every option out of the animal kingdom.  But no stinky, furry animal was going to meet Adam’s need for companionship.  Guys, aren’t you glad!  Aren’t you glad you don’t get your morning kiss from a gorilla or a giraffe or something.  Now, ladies -  you may claim that you’re married to a stinky, hairy animal.  But, I assure you, your husband is a homo-sapien.  Even if he doesn’t smell like it. 

It’s also interesting to note that God did not create another man to be the first man’s companion.  Relationships with other men is important, but guy friends don’t compliment us the way women do.  I have close male friends (obviously) but no person challenges me to grow and mature the way Erin does.  Even other female friends of mine compliment me in ways that guy friends don’t.  Women just see the world differently.  We were created different; so as to compliment each other. 

And the woman coming from the man does not make the woman inferior.  It shows our interdependence upon each other.  And since we come from the same substance, it shows our equality.  Men and Women are different, but equal. 

When God brings this new companion, woman, to the man, what does he do?  He starts jumping up and down, pounding his fists in the air – THAT’S IT!  That’s what I’m looking for.  What else is a guy going to do the first time he sees his wife naked.  He just gasps, in verse 23, “at last!” 

But then the man does something very romantic.  He sings history’s first love song.  Verse 23.  Ladies, this may not float your boat but I’ll bet the woman liked it. 

And then in verse 24, we read how the two humans came together sexually. Vs 24  The two are united into one.  Marriage is about oneness.  It’s about having the same name.  The same address.  The same bank account.  The same problem children.  But at the heart of marriage, what brings it all together, is the oneness that comes from sex. 

At what other time are a husband and wife closer than during sex?  It’s the time in which it becomes difficult to distinguish where person ends and the other person begins.  We were created in such a way that when we made love to our spouse, we would literally become one flesh.  God shaped our sexual organs on purpose; so we could experience oneness with our spouse. 

God created sex.  It’s not like God created the first humans, went on lunch break and then came back and was like, “what are they doing?  Who taught them that?!”  No, this was his idea.  God gave sex to us a gift.  A good, enjoyable gift that he wants us to share with the most important person in our life.  I’m talking about your spouse, by the way.  In fact, God created certain parts our bodies with the sole purpose of giving sexual pleasure.  Wow, thank you God! 

It’s a good gift.  Look at verse 25.  Can you imagine that?  No shame in their sexual relationship.  No shame from memories of past experiences.  No shame that comes from falling short of some expectations for performance.  None of the shame that comes with (as a man) being compared to some lover in a romance novel or (as a woman) some airbrushed model in some magazine.  They were naked, they were one and they had no shame.  That’s Pure Sex – the way sex was created to be. 

God created sex to be a beautiful act of love between a married man and a married woman – (contrary to what you may see on Grey’s Anatomy) married to each other! 

God also created sex as a physical reminder of the intimate relationship between God and his peoples.   In the New Testament, the followers of Christ are called the bride of Christ.  The joy and intimacy you experience with your spouse can also be shared with God. 

Sex isn’t dirty and wrong, like so many people think.  There are a lot of terrible marriages due to the belief that sex is dirty and wrong.  Sex is not a sin to be avoided.  It’s a gift to be cherished. 

But as I touched on earlier, we are not cherishing this gift.  Let me throw some stats at you:

·        Cohabitation is at an all time high in our country and 95% of these couples say they don’t want a relationship like their parents had.

·        Approximately 50% of all US marriages will end in divorce.

·        65% of all kids will spend at least part of their life without a dad in the home.

·        Almost 50% of women are raped by someone they know before they turn 18. 

·        There are 15 million new cases of STD’s every year in America and 68 million Americans are currently infected with an STD.

·        The highest rate of STD infection is among ADOLESCENTS.  And 2/3 of all cases of STD’s are in people 25 years of age or younger.

·        61% of all high school seniors have had intercourse.  50% are currently sexually active and 21% of all HS seniors have had 4 or more partners. 

·        11,000 adult movies made every year.  20 times the amount of movies produced by mainstream Hollywood.

·        The average age at which a child finds pornography is 11. 

·        Over 2,400 strip clubs in our country, some make up to 8 million dollars a year in revenue and have over 200 dancers working in them. 

Verse 25 – wow, we fall so short of that. 

            In the book of 1 Corinthians, Paul was writing to a bunch of new Christians who were also living in a sexually screwed up society.  It was a normal occurrence for Corinthian business men to visit the city temple over their lunch breaks.  Where they would have a quick hook-up with one of the temple prostitutes.  After work, they’d visit the public baths.  And on the weekends, the rich people would throw parties in which every person invited was assigned their own prostitute for the evening.  In those days, to be called a “Corinthian woman” was not a compliment.

            Paul is trying to patiently explain to them why they should commit to Pure Sex and what it looks like.  1 Corinthians 6:12-7:7

Paul attempts to explain Pure Sex to the Corinthians by beginning where most of them are at.  Vs 12.  The Corinthians are saying “I’m able to do whatever I want.”  “We’re two consenting adults.  What we do with our own bodies is no one else’s business.”  You’ve heard this argument before.  Well, Paul says “that’s wrong.  It is other people’s business”  We’ll get to Paul’s reasoning in a minute.  And Paul is also saying that when you choose to engage in whatever feels good at the moment – you aren’t really free.  You’re actually out of control.  If you’re addicted to pornography, you’re not free.  A sexual addict is not free – a professional counselor will be talking with us about this next week.  If you can’t stop going to that person other than your spouse.  If you can’t stop going from one screwed up relationship to another, you’re not free.  Those who are free have self control.  They can say no.  Being able to say no to sin frees them up to enjoy Pure Sex.

Vs 13 Christianity values the body.  What’s done in the body matters.  God created the human body and called it good.  Jesus came in a body.  We’re going to be resurrected as a living body.  As you see right here, the Apostle Paul uses the image of the body to explain the main ideas of Christianity – humanity, sin, Jesus’ (incarnation), Jesus’ (atonement), communion, and (eschatology).  Paul writes with the assumption that our bodies are good things, to be nourished and loved.  Our bodies can be used to glorify God, or they can be reduced to their most base urges. 

And that’s what the Corinthians are doing here, just acting upon their bodies impulses.  The Corinthians were saying “we just have natural biological urges.  When you’re hungry, you make some food.  When you have to go the bathroom you find a toilet.  When you have to release all that pent up sexual frustration, you find someone with whom you can have sex.  Guys have needs, right?  Isn’t this sexual drive and desire just a natural, normal biological function.  It’s a lot like playing racquetball, right? 

Sex is the uniting of two bodies that were created in the image of God! 

Yes, our bodies have a sexual drive – but you aren’t to be slaves of that impulse.  Pure Sex is making that sexual drive serve you as a person created in the image of God.

Sex is to make us one with our spouse.  But sex with someone other than your spouse robs you of the unity and closeness that is meant for your marriage partner alone!  Sex outside of marriage chips away at the potential for unity with your spouse, or future spouse.  You’re sewing your bodies together, then ripping them apart.  Joining together and then tearing apart.  You can become so numb that sex becomes meaningless.

Vs. 15 - Our bodies are valuable because they’re a part of Christ’s body.  This is why that argument “I can do whatever I want with my own body” doesn’t hold up for the follower of Christ.  What you do with your body affects others.  When you have sex with someone other than your spouse, it affects everyone.  Your kids, your parents, your friends, your brothers and sisters, and if you’re married – it really affects your spouse.  Improper sex hurts everyone involved.  Carnage.  Damage everywhere.  You’re betraying people who care about you.  We’re connected together.  We’re an authentic community.  Sexual sin destroys our community.

And, we’re connected to Jesus.  When a Christian is committing sexual sin, they’re dragging Jesus into that bed, the backseat of that car or that computer room with them.  Our bodies are important because they’re a part of Christ’s body.  We aren’t isolated individuals.

Pure Sex between husband and wife serves as a foundation for the marriage, which builds the church, the neighborhood, the community.  Sinful sex erodes that foundation, pulling down churches and communities. 

So, in verse 18 we’re told to run sexual sin!  Vs. 18  Guys, if you’ve gotta unhook your cable or internet, then do it.  Ladies, if he’s pushing you sexually – dump him!  “But he loves me!”  No, real love is sacrificial and patient.  Real love wants the best for the other person.  If he (or she) really loved you, they wouldn’t be pushing you.  Ladies, know that your sexuality is a gift.  If he’s trying to unwrap that gift before it’s time, tell him to hit the road.  Vs 19b-20

Paul goes on to tell us how to honor God with our bodies. 7:1.  In some translations, verse 1 reads “it is good for a man not to be married.”  But this version substitutes celibacy for singleness.  Because a life following the principle of Pure Sex means that if you’re single, you’re celibate.  There is no Pure Sex outside of marriage.  Pure Sex = sex in marriage.  If you don’t remember anything else I say this morning, remember this – Pure Sex is keeping sex in its proper place.  We’re told in Hebrews that marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept pure.  Just the two of you. 

In Paul’s mind singleness = celibacy.  Paul, who was single, says it’s okay to be single.  Being single does not make you a second class citizen.  Jesus Christ was single and he was an okay dude.  In verse 7, Paul calls singleness a gift.  Being single is better than being married to an idiot.  All single people, hear this – Don’t Settle!  Keep your standards high.  You’ll be so glad. 

Jason – “Too high of standards”

But, if you want to act upon your natural sexual drive, then get married.  Vs. 2

 Now, the next two verses are where it starts to get really good.  This is what Pure Sex is all about.  7:3

There are some commands in the Bible that grunt and make it through, Husbands, I’m thinking this isn’t one of them.  Husbands, you have a biblical responsibility to fulfill your wife’s sexual needs.  This is one of those verses you should memorize.  “Sweetheart, the Bible tells me – it’s my job to keep you satisfied.”  Wives, you need to TELL your husband what you need!  Pure Sex is open communication about your sexual needs.  I guarantee you, that will be a conversation that gets him to turn off the TV and be all ears!  Women want to talk about everything, you’ve gotta talk about this.  A man is dumb.  Husbands do not know what to do unless you tell them.  Husbands, there is no room for selfishness in Pure Sex.  You are to satisfy your wife.  Husbands, a woman’s needs extend beyond the bedroom.  They extend to those dates on Friday night, to flowers you bring home from work, to all the affirming and nurturing non-sexual touches that she needs. 

Wives, you are to fulfill your husband’s needs.  And people think the Bible is boring and irrelevant!  Wives, your husbands will appreciate your creativity and effort.  There is so much that could be said, but isn’t really necessary. 

            Vs. 4  Here Paul is again reminding us that what we do with our bodies really does matter.  Our bodies are meant to serve each other.  Commit to the lifelong process of learning about and meeting each other’s needs.  I’d encourage you to buy the book His Needs, Here Needs and read it together. 

            Vs. 5 -  There are husbands who are so busy lusting after all these other women that they don’t want their wives.  That’s sin!  There are women so angry at life or their husbands, that they withhold sex from their husbands.  Sin.  These types of actions choke the life out of your relationship.  Focus your bodies upon each other and desires upon each other and things will be hot on the home front.

            Page 131-132 of Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships 

            Wow!  That is Pure Sex!  That’s what God desires for all of us. 

I want to wrap things up this morning with one final analogy. 

Sex is like a fire.  Kept in the fireplace, it burns hot and safe.  From a fireplace it spreads warmth all throughout the house.  But take a fire out of its proper place – it will destroy a home and destroy lives. 

Many of us have been singed.  Some of you have a few holes in your carpet.  A lot of us have some smoke damage on our walls.  Some of you have had your homes totally destroyed.  You have scars from the burns of sinful sex.  Because of these past experiences, it’s hard for you to imagine being naked and unashamed – being able to enjoy Pure Sex.  As you sit in the ashes of your poor decisions, you wonder “what hope do I have?”  But just like every other area of life that we screw up, Jesus Christ offers hope and forgiveness. 

When Jesus Christ died on the cross, he was dying to forgive your sexual sin.  When he came back from the dead, he proved that he has the power you need to put to death your life of sin and live a life of purity. 

We celebrate what Jesus has done through Holy Communion. Communion is such a special act of worship.  This is the chance for you to confess any sin to God and receive his power to help you live in a way that honors him.  If you’re ready for that type of life, you’re ready to receive the elements. 

Blessing

What we do with our bodies matters.  It matters to God and it matters to the rest of our church.  Let’s conform our bodies to the good news of Jesus Christ.  Whether you’re married or single, may you practice Pure Sex!  Go in peace.